Conflict is a natural part of every relationship. Every person has a unique world view and a personal set of needs. When you put two people together, these differences can cause tension. Effective conflict resolution is a must-have skill in any relationship, so follow these steps to make it second nature.

Step One
Respect the other person. A relationship is an exchange between equals, even when one person has authority over the other. Actively listen to the person. Validate their needs and opinions including when you don’t agree with them. Dismissing a person’s beliefs will only alienate them and further aggravate the conflict.

Step Two
Acknowledge the issue. It’s easy to pretend that everything is all right when it isn’t. In the long run, this pretending only makes matters worse. It breeds resentment. Be open about any problem you may have to prevent prolonged damage to your relationship.

Step Three
Discuss the problem. Honest, open communication is pertinent to conflict resolution. Share your thoughts and feelings on the subject while allowing the other person to do the same. Come to an understanding about where each of you stands on the issue.

Step Four
Compromise. Relationships are about give and take. Know your deal breakers, and adhere to them. But be willing to meet the other person somewhere in the middle on everything else. Both of you should feel good about the end result.

Step Five
Renegotiate if necessary. Your conflict resolution may need reevaluation after a period of time. If it isn’t working out, then make changes where necessary.

stan Loo is the founder of Alternative Conflict Resolution Services, a personal development consultancy based out of San Diego County, California. Tristan is a former police officer, author/publisher, professional mediator, and negotiator. Tristan learned the power of holistic communication through the many conflicts he dealt with during his tour as a street cop. Tristan has just published his new book Street Negotiation–How to Resolve Any Conflict Anytime. Please visit his website for more information http://www.acrsonline.com/quickcard_details.php?c_id=9

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Tags conflict resolution | Respect | open communication | Compromise | Renegotiate